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Joke of the Day

"For some reason, I'm not in The Guinness Book of Records. Even though I was *definitely* the first person ever to touch my penis."

"What's the difference between a Snickers and my girlfriend? Snickers satisfies."

"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."

"Why did Germany run out of gas? Because they gave it to the Jews I'll be in Argentina for awhile."

"Funniest YouTube channel? Mark Fitzgibben , Brandon Berg or BroKaine ? XDDD"

"What is the digestive system? The digestive system is a system which starts with one hole and ends with one hole"

"""Relax. It's not a competition."" ""Right. That's what I say."" ""But I said it first."""

"What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV."

"I love a girl with a trimmed bush.... Only because its makes it easier to see her through the window at night."

"Notre Dame beat Navy yesterday. If Navy beats ISIS, does that help Notre Dame's strength of schedule?"