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Joke of the Day

"I made this up when i was 10... Whats a frogs favorite restaurant? IHOP!!!"

"I knew a woman who was very liberal with her kids. She had them aborted."

"Did you hear the one about the dog with no limbs named joint? Every morning his owner would take him out for a drag"

"My girlfriend hates when I say ""I've got a surprise for you... in my pants."", then I unzip my pants and a squirrel jumps out and bites her."

"Looks like Erdogan had to quit... ...cold Turkey. [](/rimshot)"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on chlamydia. The librarian says, ""You're girlfriend already has it, she said that she gave it to you."""

"She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this ""we"" shit? I'm having plenty."

"London weather is just like Iraq. A little bit sunni, but mostly shiite."

"Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter."

"Sodium said to neon, ""I gave your mother my electron last night!"" Neon didn't react."