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Joke of the Day
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear a seatbelt."
Next Joke
"How do you impregnate a nun? You fuck her."
"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes ""Cool, now we're both barking!"""
"The tabloids would have a field day if Billy Joel ever actually started a fire."
"I vote we change the name ""hoodie"" to ""bother-my-neck-on-the-couch-ie"""
"With Tim Cook being gay and all... It's no wonder he likes dongles so much."
"Hi, you're through to the Incontinence Hotline... Can you hold please?"
"I'm gonna start a woman's monthly magazine called ""Period"", and some months I will send it out late to freak out subscribers"
"I know a great US Postal Service Joke... ...but you'll never get it."
"Pro tip: when a cop asks you to step out of the car, don't reply with ""I'm too drunk, you get in."""