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Joke of the Day
"I vote we change the name ""hoodie"" to ""bother-my-neck-on-the-couch-ie"""
Next Joke
"An Irishman offended everyone in the pub by making witty jokes about their mums. What was his name? O'Byrne"
"When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there's really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge."
"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."
"Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey... ...along came a spider that sat down beside her and said, ""what's in the bowl, bitch?"""
"Want to know how to make your PC faster? Paint it black."
"So much negative, Wars, terrorism, climate disruption, political corruption.......Kardashians........ At least Charlie Sheen is positive."
"Which is the most religious vegetable? The Pope-tato"
"[showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. ""You named your daughter Jack?"" Nope, mittens"
"You're in a room with a murderer and someone who makes sandwiches with the crust end of the bread and you have 1 bullet. Who do- ""Bread guy"""