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Joke of the Day

"Me: What kind of tools do I need to make a cake? Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin.."

"Have you heard about the masochist who likes taking a cold shower every morning? So he has a hot one instead."

"What does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella for? Fo' Drizzle"

"What did the little Chinese boy get for Christmas? Rice."

"I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching."

"(NSFW) They've finally published my self-help book about having sex with herbs It's about fucking thyme."

"Princess Dianna had dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox."

"All else being equal... A fat person uses more soap than a thin person."

"What do you call a fake Flying Spaghetti Monster? An impasta."