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Joke of the Day

"Two aboriginees, a mother and child, see a plane fly by The child asks, ""mom, are planes good to eat?"" The mother replies, ""Planes are like lobsters, you only eat what's inside."""

"What did Salt 'N' Pepa say to the nosey chemist? ""It's none of your Bismuth!"" Sorry."

"*wears shoulder pads for the angel and devil on my shoulders *pimps their ride"

"someone adopt my gpa because i can't raise it myself"

"I hired a PR team. They said the public would like me more if I stopped executing people. I executed the PR team."

"Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success"

"My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips."

"What did one suicide bomber say to the next? Nothing, he just waved. #punchlinesthatdontwork"

"I like telling car salesmen ""Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car"" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do"

"I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album."