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Joke of the Day

"When my kids get too loud in our minivan I simply race over the nearest speedbump to make them bite their tongues."

Next Joke
 
"ok i made up the BEST nickname for Cocaine EVARRRRR. Yall ready? check this out: ""Columbian FunDip"" ..... I know, awesome."
"Emperor Sleepoleon, we urge you to change your name to appear less lazy to your people. Oui, I shall dial it back, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY"
"Bae: come over Me: I can't, I'm hanging out with your parents. Bae: my parents aren't home. Me: I know. I just... You never listen Susan."
"Can I buy you a drink? ""I don't drink."" *panics* Oh. Um...well, here's $12."
"Take your ex out tonight (one bullet oughtta do it)"
"A religious family member literally said ""Spongebob goes too far sometimes"" and I can not stop laughing."
"what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone? please excuse my dairy air"
"I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ... which this post is too short to contain"
"Why are powerpuff girls sad? [Nsfw] Because they neither have boyfriends nor fingers"