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Joke of the Day

"i mean, at some point the Absolute Funniest Thing Ever happened and i'd bet you $75 it involved a huge fart."

"An economist was given the choice between participating in a marathon and just a quick race. He preferred the long run over the short run."

"I organised a day of sponsored bungee jumping for the local disabled group... Perhaps calling it 'spastic on elastic' wasn't one of my greatest ideas..."

"I love it when people use a hashtag at the end of a tweet to explain the tweet. #usingtheliterarydeviceknownassarcasmhere"

"How does Disney decide who needs pants and who doesn't?"

"Ha Long is many Dongs"

"Did you know Jesus was gay? He was nailed by a bunch of guys."

"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his George Clooney movies... But he's never gonna give you Up In the Air."

"It's OK, batteries...no one includes me either."