198881

Joke of the Day

"I organised a day of sponsored bungee jumping for the local disabled group... Perhaps calling it 'spastic on elastic' wasn't one of my greatest ideas..."

"Would you like to buy a second-hand computer? I'm afraid not. I'm only able to type with one hand as it is."

"""I haven't read an update about Karen's Farmville crops in a few days. I hope everything is OK."" - no one, ever"

"Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, ""Marco"" and then an even fainter, ""Polo."""

"Corny Japanese Cartoons Ani-maize ...I'll leave now."

"The top 3 worst STDs according to logic... 1. A child 2. Feelings 3. AIDS"

"There's both a McDonald's and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life."

"To all the philosophy majors out there... Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?"

"Dad: relax kids, no monkey business in a nice restaurant [table over] Monkey 1: *slams briefcase shut, stands up* Monkey 2: not worth it man"

"Someone with a thick Italian accent walks up to a man and says ""I really like europeanness."""