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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo ? One is really heavy........ The others a little lighter."

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"""

"What do you call a black man flying an aeroplane?... ... a pilot, you racist fuck"

"Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box"

"If my ""check engine"" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it."

"When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve."

"My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive."

"Justin Bieber has found Jesus which means that Jesus is really great at a lot of things but hiding is not one of them."

"First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes it could stop a clock."

"Atoms make up everything... so naturally you shouldn't trust them."