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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five? You leave him hanging...."

"How can you tell God is a man? If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate"

"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."

"KFC came out with the Obama Bucket.. Its all left wings, and chicken shits."

"The very first thing you learn in life is how to think outside the box."

"Wife: It's not a chick flick! Me: was the movie released in February? W: yes. M: are they standing back to back on the cover? W: sigh.. yes"

"Hi, I'm Brandon and I'll be your hater this evening. Our specials tonight are ""ur mom"", ""lol own3d"", and ""u mad bro lol u mad?!??!"""

"What is the definition of a Barbarian? It's someone who cuts hair in a library."

"Gold fish don't like being pulled out of their tank for a cuddle."