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Joke of the Day

"They say never go food shopping when you're hungry ... haven't ""they"" heard that ""seven days without food makes one weak?"""

"[think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]"

"I was thinking of hosting a gathering of celebrities where we make harsh jokes about honoree JLO's backside. Think of it as a rump roast."

"Where did the universe attend college? At the university."

"What was John Lennons final hit? The pavement"

"CEO: It's got wheels Inventor: It's the best we could do CEO: You had 30 yrs I: CEO: Put ""may not hover"" on the box and get out of my sight"

"What did Sushi ""A"" say to Sushi ""B?"" Wasabi!"

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice"

"Why is it good to post jokes about feminists? It promotes equality."

"What did the cow say in winter? Oh my god. I'm Friesian!"