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Joke of the Day

"Where did the universe attend college? At the university."

"I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane."

"Yo mama is so fat... Yo mama is so fat she stubbed her camel toe!"

"Old junkies don't die, they just withdraw."

"My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'."

"I woke up the other day and had really bad bed head. Never called her again."

"The forest animals are about to rip me apart but suddenly they back off. Hillary Clinton emerges from the trees. The animals bow their heads"

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again."

"If we stop neutering our dogs then the Terriers have won."

"What's gambling like in heaven? It's a pair-a-dice."