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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a fence and Ellen Pao One knows how to link properly."

"I heard they're selling heart-burns that only take two minutes to cook now! I think they were called, Hot-pockets?"

"Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind."

"How long is a pedicure? 2 feet."

"My wife gets a bit irritated when I talk about my second and third marriage because, you know, she's my first."

"Today I was helping a friend install his fence, but I put in one of the stakes upside down so we had to do it over. Sorry for the repost."

"My mom's so pessimistic... If there was an Olympics for pessimism ... she wouldn't fancy her chances."

"Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists... They did unspeakable things to me."

"hate to brag but I can still fit in my Quinceanera dress"

"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's called wedding cake."