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Joke of the Day

"CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: ""U2's New Album"""

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"Why don't poor people go to funerals? They can't afford to pay respects."

"What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on? A bare hare."

"What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back? Wheeeeee!"

"If you like pee jokes... ...urine luck."

"Bath time without my phone: 10 minutes Bath time with my phone: 45 minutes 75 retweets 1 wrinkly baby"

"Boss: Where were you born? ME: MERICA Boss: which part? ME: What 'which part'? The whole body was born in MERICA."

"What did the bra say to the toupee? You go on ahead, I'll hold these two up."