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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Where were you born? ME: MERICA Boss: which part? ME: What 'which part'? The whole body was born in MERICA."

"Have you heard of the new band The Transmission Lines? I hear they have so much potential."

"I dropped acid this morning The teacher made us evacuate the lab."

"6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub."

"What's brown, long, and sticky? A stick."

"my girlfriend's family is quite religious. i remember first time we stayed at her parents's house. but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together. which is a shame because he is so attractive."

"Why did the monster take his nose apart? To see what made it run."

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball."

"I once lost my thesaurus... and I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was."

"What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer? Needle them"