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Joke of the Day
"What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish"
Next Joke
"excuse me, waitress? ""I'm not a waitress"" Oh, what are you then ""Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"""
"One thing that watching cartoons have taught us. Gravity only works if you look down."
"I feel like I'm not giving my followers enough in my tweets. Would you be interested in stock tips or free shampoo samples?"
"All I'm hearing about today is a really awesome owl A superb owl at that, I don't get it."
"What is worse than the earthquake in Italy? The Holocaust."
"A tax collector dies and goes to heaven"
"Pretty funny that turtles are always in uniform. It's like lighten up, turtles. The war is over."
"What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French bathroom? Linoleum Blown-apart"
"The greatest pickup line of all time... Let's be friends."