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Joke of the Day

"All I'm hearing about today is a really awesome owl A superb owl at that, I don't get it."

"Some guy at a party asked me, ""Who's cheese is on those chips?"" [Fixed] And I said, ""Well, obviously *na-chos*."" Get it? It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent."

"Donald Trump's dream is within his grasp He's about to get fucked by every woman in America"

"Did you hear the one about Jonestown? I'd tell it to you, but the punch line's too long."

"""I like the way you move!"" -Jealous inanimate object"

"I have to write 4 pages in 3 hours, but at least I'm not deployed in Iraq."

"When a woman tells me her lawn needs mowing, I get an entirely different picture in my head."

"What's a German Ninja drink beer out of? A clandestein."

"Why the word redundancy when lawyers say cease and desist? Billable vowels."

"Two snowmen are standing in a field One snowman says to the other, ""Do you smell carrots?"""