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Joke of the Day

"All I'm hearing about today is a really awesome owl A superb owl at that, I don't get it."

"Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now."

"*eats banana seductively Banana: I have a boyfriend"

"I'm no scientist, but harnessing the power of teen girls talking would probably solve all the world's energy woes."

"I was gonna tell a Holocaust joke but I ran out of gas."

"What part of ""No"" don't you understand? Probably the whole thing I'm guessing. It's a pretty short word. What? You're a squirrel? Sorry"

"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Irish!"

"I'd write a rap song... ..but i'm too Lay-Z"

"I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn't like it. So I choose not to post it this time around Edit: Thanks for the 1000 upvotes this time guys! ( Edited when I only had 27)"