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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between your job and your wife? Your job fucking sucks"
Next Joke
"How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, ""How many women have you slept with?"" I proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""
"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain? Neville Chamberlain takes a weekend in the country. Adolf Hitler takes a country in the weekend. (First told circa 1938)"
"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!"
"Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For hispanic attacks."
"Doctor Doctor Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?"
"What is long and yellow and always points north? A magnetic banana."
"I stop drinking !!!!!!!!!!!!! .......but only when I sleep."
"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."
"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"