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Joke of the Day

"Men need 100% talent to succeed in life....... Women need only 4%..... because the remaining 36+24+36 helps."

"Why doesn't Anne Coulter have any loose skin? She's afraid someone will make a lampshade out of it."

"My new flesh-light is dishwasher safe! Not sure why my roommates are opposed to it?"

"Geese just call them bumps."

"If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?"

"Where do Russians stream movies from? Nyetflix."

"The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship."

"Pillow fights didn't last as long in the Stone Age."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt."