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Joke of the Day

"Men need 100% talent to succeed in life....... Women need only 4%..... because the remaining 36+24+36 helps."

"Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Cyberpunk Barbie ...includes 'trodes and implants"

"My mom asked me what I was doing for Easter ... I said, ""Same as Jesus. Going out on Friday and coming back Sunday"""

"I once saw a headstone that read ""here lies a politician and an honest man."" I wonder how they fit two people in one casket."

"If you're going to carry on a cell phone conversation in the men's room you can count on me to make HORRIBLE noises and flush every two seconds."

"I'm always frank with my sexual partners. Don't want them knowing my real name!!"

"I'm an insomniac, and I fucking hate it... My friends sleep like a log and they love it, but when I try I have nightmares about lumberjacks."

"I got arrested for playing chess in the street.. I said its because im black isnt it"

"What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party? (x-post from /r/tax) A present liability!"