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Joke of the Day

"The minute the great man dies, cryogenics should be employed until a cure is found for old age and chest problems... Freeze Nelson Mandela!"

Next Joke
 
"I forgot a bag of groceries in my taxi. It's been driving me bananas."
"""HEY ATHLETES WITHOUT MONEY FOR TRAINING FACILITIES OR PROPER UNIFORMS, Y U NO WIN GOLD MEDALS?"" - Indians"
"I once asked an Asian girl for her number. She said ""SEX SEX SEX, FREE SEX TONIGHT"" I said ""wow"". Then her friend said, ""no, she meant 666-3629."""
"So if you never eat meat or dairy you must never throw up, because what happens in Vegans--ow stop hitting me."
"*stares off into the distance* Distance: I have a boyfriend"
"What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech? Someone who takes everything literally"
"Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming."
"Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info."
"The time between the nurse leaving the room and the doctor entering is for exploring and trying out as many tools as possible"