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Joke of the Day

"How are toy trains and boobs similar? Both are made for the kid, but daddy ends up playing with them more often."

"I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably."

"Clueless boyfriend walks into publix to buy condoms. Can't find them. Finally goes in the right aisle. Proceeds to have sex. Publix: where shopping is a pleasure... ...or lack there of."

"Blind Man A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair."

"Did you hear about the injured Carpenter? He hurt his widdle finger."

"Wife: how was the doctor? Me: bad I'm dying Wife: I know, how was the doctor?"

"I went to the zoo today but when I arrived, there was only a dog there It was a shitzu"

"You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, ""concentrate""."

"HEY OFFICER, STOP SCREAMING AT ME TO PULL OVER, I'M DRUNK NOT DEAF"

"So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says ""hey, why the wrong face?"""