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Joke of the Day
"Wife: how was the doctor? Me: bad I'm dying Wife: I know, how was the doctor?"
Next Joke
"Just got home to find the doors ripped off and everything gone. What kind of bastard could do that to my chocolate advent calendar?"
"How many glasses of wine equals two servings of fruit? Asking for a friend."
"me: i'm here for stabbing lessons clerk: sir this is a fencing clu me: yeah whatever hand me a knife clerk: ... me: dress me like a beekeeper"
"All people who make generalizations about other people are all assholes."
"Single by choice, just not my choice. Damn you, 19th amendment!"
"A Mexican magician announced... ""For my next trick, I will count to ten and vanish into thin air."" He began ""Uno....dos.."" Then he disappeared without a tres."
"Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year."
"Kevin Spacey ordering a takeaway coffee from Starbucks and receiving the cup with 'Kevin E' written on the side."
"Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt? He didn't want to be spotted."