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Joke of the Day

"Just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter. Expecting a song within the hour"

"I was trying to get a top comment on Reddit... But I Blueit"

"I've been researching marriages TIL: Death does us apart."

"Why is 12 the highest number rednecks can count to? How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack."

"Did you hear about that African-Asian summit? Apparently it was a black-thai do."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit Will you get out of my hair!"

"Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, but I think they forgot to mention the Morons."

"My husband got his hand stuck in the dishwasher. So of course I had to fire her."

"I now know I'm getting old. I was watching some porn the other day and thought to myself wow that's a nice bed."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening"