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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening"

"Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box"

"If more than one mouse is mice, then more than one Spouse is Spice.'"

"There is a James Brown impersonator in South Korea. He's known as the Godfather of Seoul."

"I think my friend is a vampire I stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake and he died"

"Why do sovereign citizens never turn on the lights? The sound of electricity triggers their PTSD."

"What kinda meat does a priest eat on Friday? nun"

"I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were all furious."

"My first language is condescension. You wouldn't understand it."

"Minnie Mouse comes home to Mickey and tells him she wants to get a divorce Mickey: ""What? Think of what this will do to the ratings! Are you fucking crazy!?"" Minnie: ""No dear, I'm fucking Goofy"""