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Joke of the Day

"I love my girlfriend's dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."

"The most overdone joke ever. [Deleted]"

"[Seance] *knock, knock* ME: Wh-who's there? [ouija board spells out A-T-C-H] ME: atch who? [spells out B-L-E-S-S-Y-O-U] ME: Dammit, Grandpa!"

"Why is the beach wet? Cause the seaweed"

"Why did the man have to sell his hospice? It was a dying business."

"The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline"

"What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew? Dew diligance"

"Him: Do you want to run away with me? Me: We won't actually be running, right?"

"I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar They said that there's no cents in the change"

"Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator."