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Joke of the Day

"Did you know, that pigeons die when they have sex? At least the one I fucked did."

"Why is Santa's sack so big??? Well, he only cums once a year..."

"Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity."

"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"

"Why did Hillary go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"Communism jokes aren't funny Unless everyone gets them"

"What is Donald Trump's favorite nation? Discrimination."

"""Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted. ""What?! Really?!"", I said. ""Yep! Go pack your things and get ready"", my dad said. ""They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes."""

"TIFU by getting meatball marinara instead of steak and cheese... Oops, wrong sub"

"People use to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be a comedian"" Well nobody is laughing now."