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Joke of the Day

"Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity."

"How do you make a Game of Thrones fan sad? You ask them to hold the door for you."

"What Did Kid Davis Say To The Lesbian Melons? you cantaloupe. i just thought of this. probably not the first person to, but i certainly didn't steal it."

"If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy."

"What did the white supremacist say to his friend after watching a plot twist? I did Nazi that coming."

"I've compiled a list of women I'd like to sleep with for your viewing pleasure: 1.) You 2.) Every other woman in the world"

"Programmer goes shopping His wife says ""get me a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs get a dozen"" He comes back with 12 loaves of bread."

"A Jewish Coffee brand named... Hebrews It"

"Malaysia has some of the world's best magicians They make entire planes disappear."

"I, for one, like Roman numerals."