106093

Joke of the Day

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Just taught my 15 year old German Shepard to play dead! Cocky bastard is trying to set a record too! Been that way for eight hours now..."

"if you stabbed me i would probably bleed pizza sauce."

"Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do."

"The 70s had it right. Back then, ugly people were allowed to make music."

"What did the cookie farmer say? ""I've been raisin' cookies."""

"Come on, there has got to be at least one business like show business."

"Why are pirates, pirates ? CASUE THEY ARGHHHHHHH"

"I didn't realise how lonely I was... I didn't realise how lonely I was, until I decided my favourite sexual position was right-handed."

"what ultimately decides your fate while you are driving? Your Carma"

"That's a nice ham you have there It would be a shame if someone put an 's' at the start and an 'e' at the end..."