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Joke of the Day

"Just completed a 0.00 mi run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies #RunKeeper"

"Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."

"What is a gay guy's favorite kind of yogurt? The kind with the fruit on the bottom."

"Be very careful if you eat mushrooms in the wild. There's not mushroom for error."

"I opened the door and said ""Honey, I'm home..."", she didn't reply She just stood still in the glass jar."

"What Are The Two Most Important Orifices' On A Woman? The nostrils so she can breathe while she sucks your dick."

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work."

"Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10? Because windows 7 8 9"

"If I don't mention you, then the tweet/status wasn't about you. But if the shoe fits, then lace that bitch up and wear it."

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