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Joke of the Day

"Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."

"Have you heard about the new Web MD zodiac? All the signs say Cancer."

"For all of you fighting about Black Friday, please remember... All Fridays matter."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job. I just wish it wasn't THIS job."

"The man who invented auto-correct has died. May he restaurant in piece."

"My iWatch says I masturbated for 6 miles today!!"

"What is Donald Trump's favourite music album? The Wall"

"At my mom's house. Just asked if we could record Dateline and she said she doesn't have a blank VHS tape and now my left arm is numb."

"Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!"

"A ninja's wife comes home to find her husband dead and exclaims... ...""no ninja no ninja no!"""