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Joke of the Day

"Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."

"""We hug and kiss, but people just don't lick each other."" -yet another lie I just told my toddler"

"You should never call your ex a whore It's offensive to prostitutes everywhere."

"New Channels: Bin Laden dead That's ruined the game, what do we do now it's our turn to hide?"

"What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Have you heard the one about the successful black man? Neither have I! I hope this isn't a repost. I made this joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if somebody else thought of it before me."

"How do you torture Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it."

"9: Dad, did you know that in some cultures the groom doesn't even know the bride until after they're married. Me: That's every culture son."

"Why are there so many body shops in heaven? Abortion."

"What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen? Sorry mate."