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Joke of the Day
"Nothing good can come out of answering your landline."
Next Joke
"So Dolly Parton bought the supermarket franchises Big Lots, Harris Teeters, and Piggly Wiggly... She's calling it Big Wiggly Teeters."
"Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia? They were afraid of Stalin."
"What did the passenger broccoli say to the driver broccoli? Floret!"
"My wife asked if I ever think about someone else during sex... ""Nope, just myself."""
"Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you're in Starbucks."
"I tried learning trigonometry under the hot sun Only thing i got was a tan"
"In the midst of all this negativity and hate please take comfort in remembering that I have a 5 star uber passenger rating"
"When someone asks you if you've met their kids... ... it turns out that the proper reply is NOT ""Yes, heheh."""
"Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is a prime number and those are pretty intimidating."