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Joke of the Day

"New study reveals that women actually make better archaeologist. They're always digging up old shit."

"Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too......just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!"

"Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color"

"facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once"

"Happy March 14th to all the MEN out there.... (not sure what it is?? GOOGLE IT)"

"I fell off a 40 foot ladder Luckily it was the first step"

"Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward Cuz that's how I roll.."

"Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews."

"I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard."

"What is the definition of trust? Gay cannibals"