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Joke of the Day

"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark with gastritis that keeps throwing up people until they all have fun on the beach."

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"[prison riot] me: here comes the tickle monster!! [gets stabbed 100 times]"
"What do you call a hippie astronaut? A far out man"
"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."
"What do you call a boner at a funeral? Mourning wood."
"I need Irish jokes, pronto! Just 'cause"
"If you watch an Apple store get robbed, Does that make you an iWitness?"
"What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles? A Biceptual"
"What do you call a random selection of sailors? A seamen sample"
"The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out."