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Joke of the Day

"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark with gastritis that keeps throwing up people until they all have fun on the beach."

"Knock knock. Come in."

"Engineer Manager joke Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife? ""Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."""

"What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head? Ducks like a quack."

"If the conversation gets too serious take your pants off."

"I was there when my wife gave birth... I was there when my wife gave birth. I watched as piss came out, and then shit. I think my wife regrets letting me name the twins."

"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent? Thanks for opening my mind."

"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""

"Trump is like Hurricane Matthew The media is talking about it nonstop. Nobody knows how bad it's going to be, but you can't help shake your head at the Floridan who ignores the warning."