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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Lorena Bobbitt's car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park your car, man."

"I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship."

"Jackpot is like regular pot, but with a questionable added ingredient..."

"How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty."

"Following someone on Twitter and complaining about what they tweet about is like phoning someone to tell them you don't want to talk to them"

"Did you hear about the war between the blondes and the brunettes? The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back."

"I started microfinancing my money to get better savings. It just made a lot of cents to me."

"I asked my friend who the antagonist of Borderlands is. Me: ""If you tell me, i'll give you some alcohol for free"" Friend: ""Alright then, hand some jack"""

"I think the sun shouldn't come up until at least noon on Saturdays."