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Joke of the Day

"Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble... And every day, I tell him we're sold out. Can't he buy Monopoly instead?"

"Why do girls talk so much? They have four lips"

"My new years resolution for 2017 1920x1080"

"Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken"

"They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm."

"Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop."

"What's the difference between an Ethiopian elevator sign and an British elevator sign? British sign says "" Maximum 6 People/500kg"" Ethiopian sign says ""Maximum 500 People/6kg"""

"What does a British man do when he finds a prostitute and is in the mood? He pounds."

"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."

"Dirty: What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."