105761

Joke of the Day

"In a courtroom... *Mickey. mouse, it says here you want to divorce mini because she was... extremely silly? ""No! I said she was fucking goofy!!"""

"Moses talking to a burning bush was child's play ...compared to the miracle of getting a hundred thousand Jews to voluntarily go in to the Red ~~sea~~."

"Smoke detectors, feel free to use that last bit of battery life to continue monitoring fires instead of getting all beepy."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. Am I doing this right?"

"What does Mr. Miyagi do while Daniel-san waxes the car? He wax off."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field"

"Ordering beef: ""Was this killed humanely? Did it suffer?"" Ordering lobster: ""I'd like to rip this to pieces in front of its entire family."""

"Guy: Hey girl, you got the Zika? Girl: I dunno, why? Guy: Cause I want a little head."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Silent"

"What does the British monarchy and yeast have in common? They're both inbred."