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Joke of the Day

"What do your child and your dick have in common? If you don't beat it enough, it'll start standing up for itself in public."

"REV. SHARPTON Calling Al Sharpton a reverend is like calling Jeffrey Dahmer a chef"

"What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist? A sociopath sees people as things; a buddhist sees things as people."

"My inability to proofread increases by 1000% after I press send. Danmit"

"One hair in my soup Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."

"[In a chair] Leans back Leans back Leans ba... [Ambulance]"

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."

"How do I like my eggs? Umm in a cake."

"What do you call a black Roy Rogers. Leroy Rogers."