105576

Joke of the Day

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"Honey, what is the name of that German that hides things around the house? Alzheimer grandma, Alzheimer!"

"I wish I had taught my dog the command ""Taylor Swift"" so every time it snowed he would just ""Shake It Off."""

"Once upon a time there was a Z & D. Then someone tipped Z over. The ND."

"Did you hear about the guys who snorted curry powder instead of cocaine? One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma."

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame. You give archers who shoot apples off of people's heads a bad name."

"Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?"

"Unfortunately Miley Cyrus broke up with her boyfriend It didn't twerk out"

"How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? Ask Hugh Hefner."

"I try to have garage sales but as soon as anyone shows a slight interest in something I take it back into the house & look at it with pride."