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Joke of the Day

"I have the body of a 25-year-old girl, a 25-year-old who has recently been eaten by a 40-year-old bear."

"Why does Manny Pacquiao hate Spring so much? Because of May weather."

"Your body is your temple is a really terrible proverb to promote chastity. Literally anyone can come inside a temple."

"Your honor, I second that motion Judge: Ma'am, I'm simply reading your husband's request to be cremated"

"BOOK FACT: If you took every book in our store and laid them end to end you would be thrown out by security and banned from returning."

"Did you hear about the first deaf man to be sent into Space? He didn't either"

"Don't spend money on body modification. If you wait long enough, your body modifies itself for free."

"After working out for over a year, I successfully dated several girls who always jumped on my couch, saying 'do whatever you want with me'. But unfortunately none of them liked Mario Kart. :("

"Fact: if you drop a penny from a skyscraper it can kill someone on the street? It's true, I'm still glad I went with a bowling ball though"

"""Hello, 911"" Hi it's Mickey my dog is hurt bad ""Is it Goofy or Pluto?"" I don't see how- ""Goofy or Pluto?"" Pluto ""Call a vet"" *hangs up*"