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Joke of the Day

"I feel like HGTV is creating some false expectations for the attractiveness of the contractor you hire for home renovations."

"Did you hear about the drunken idiot who flew into a black hole? I don't think he understood the gravity of his situation."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? About halfway"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero."

"Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don't understand how weather works."

"I was going to tell you a joke about UDP... But I'm not sure if you would get it."

"Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking"

"I was going to be a banker... But I lost interest"

"What's do you call it when you let your penis make all of the decisions? ...a dicktatorship. My girlfriend thought of this stinker this morning."

"Donald Trump says he has a great relationship with the blacks But unless the blacks is the name of a white family, that's probably not the case --Seth Meyers"