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Joke of the Day

"Why do people like Hillary Clinton? When she can't even stand herself?"

"The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you."

"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"

"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."

"3 database admins walked into a nosql bar A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table"

"How do you know when there is a bassist at your door? He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in."

"What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

"What's Paul McCartney's favourite food? Maccaroni"

"A zombie walks into a bar Bartender says ""we don't serve zombies here"" to which the zombie replies ""that's fine, is the human fresh?"""

"Recently, 218 Italian MPs signed a bipartisan bill for the legalization of marijuana...[x-post from r/trees] They're basically in joint support, for *joint* support. I'll show myself out."