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Joke of the Day

"What do you call? What do you call an anorexic with a east infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"I feel like this election ended up being a good thing for Hilary Clinton. At least now she knows what it feels like to get fucked by the president."

"stolen from dave allen Imagine if you will you are at a man's house having your way with his wife and he comes home early and catches you. And he says ""Carry On"" and you can"

"A surgeon accidentally removed a women cancerless breast.... Sounds like it was a mastec-to-my"

"Why do wrestlers love video games? Because of the lutte"

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey"

"Jesus loves you may be a wonderful thing to hear in church But it's a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison."

"An undertaker and a snake If an undertaker and a snake got married, what would there towels say? Hissss and Hearse"

"A computer architect walks up to an elevator and sees a sign that says ""Out of Order"".. .. and says ""Even better!"" and gets into it."

"I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I'd have an excuse to tell passengers, ""Where we're going, we don't need roads."""