201086

Joke of the Day

"Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy."

"Why is there a bucket of shit at an Italian wedding? To keep the flies off of the bride."

"They say cow manure come from males. But that's bullshit."

"My dad had the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Turning 30 is like fucking your sister Your dad wishes he could do it again."

"When ""Tickle Me Elmo"" was a big deal, there had to be a quality assurance department... Imagine, a whole group of people whose job was to test tickles."

"My son just told me he wouldn't kill baby Hitler b/c of what that would do to the space program. Not 100% sure if he's a Nazi or just a nerd"

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go out at night without Robin."

"What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters? A Pedo File."