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Joke of the Day

"What is love? Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And me, I call it you."

"[Nsfw] So I went to this convention for women who had lost their legs... The place was crawling with pussy."

"Why did the post office get sued? For Mail-Practice!!"

"I like to push the ""stop time"" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot."

"I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums. He was a professional tuna."

"NEWS ANCHOR: Here's Gary with day 1 of his outdoor summer weather report. GARY: [frying an egg on the sidewalk] I quit. Back to you, John."

"What do you call a paralyzed clown with his tongue cut out? BEST MIME EVER!"

"Slaves and snow tires What's the difference between a slaves and snow tires? Snow tires don't sing when you put a chain around them."

"You know how the bud light campaign got through PR? Because the guys at bud light aren't used to getting consent and don't take no for an answer."

"Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team? She kept running away from the ball"