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Joke of the Day

"*couple's marriage begins to fall apart* *marriage counselor blows on them like an N64 cartridge* Okay how about now"

"Dreams can come true. For example, One night I dreamed that I was poor, sad and alone after three months the dream come true."

"Ruger is coming out with a new pistol called the congressman... X/post from r/guns .....it doesn't work and you can't fire it."

"My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor... because ""who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"""

"What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don't take me for granite!"

"Why didn't the oyster have any friends? He was shellfish. Woo! Been thinking for days trying to come up with some OC to blast your brains with."

"I think elephants are overprotected But I suppose it's easy for me to say that from my ivory tower."

"Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate."

"Let's talk about pre-mature ejaculation real quick. Ok, all done."

"What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire? See you next period."