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Joke of the Day

"Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win."

"They say it takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. So, I say exercise your face... Get married and have teenage children. You will be frowning more than you imagined."

"Why are US flags different in San Francisco? They have gay bars."

"to be Frank, i would have to change my name."

"Mexican Magician There was a Mexican Magician standing on the stage. He said, ""On the count of three, I will make myself disappear!"" ""Uno!"" ""Dos!"" POOF! He disappeared without a tres!"

"A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, ""And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"" Annie replied, ""Because people are sleeping"""

"What's better than watching a woman wrestle? Seeing her box."

"My One A Day multivitamins actually have directions on the bottle - ""Take one multivitamin daily."" Hmmm"

"Trapped beneath the feet of a bearded giant... Cut off from the world. Stephen King & Pixar present: ""A BUG'S LIFE 3: UNDER THE GNOME"""

"Finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!"