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Joke of the Day

"Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win."

Next Joke
 
"How do all racist jokes start? *Scans over left shoulder, scans over right shoulder*"
"I've been using medical marijuana for my bladder issues... My doctor told me to piss or get off the pot."
"How do you call an intelligent blonde? A Labrador."
"Bitches be misusing helping verbs."
"I'm sorry I showed you snaps from my colonoscopy after you made me look at your ultrasound. I thought we were sharing pics of our innards."
"I wasted 400 years of my life trying to figure out if I was a vampire."
"""Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, I know you're asleep but I just wanted to let you know that I'm like 14 miles away from your house right now!"" -Trains"
"What did the Mancunian abortion doctor say to the fetus? ""Don't look back in hanger"""
"When I draw a fish I always.... ... Draw it to scale"
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