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Joke of the Day
"Why did the semen cross the road? because I put the wrong sock on this morning... :("
Next Joke
"This may be the wine talking but help he's drinking me, he's drinking me."
"I need to pick up a random hunky guy in a bar, bring him home, have him invite a friend, and THEN mention that I need furniture rearranged"
"Shout-out to my grandma Because that's the only way she can hear me."
"Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder."
"If it looks like a duck, Sounds like a cat, And walks like robot, You took too many pain killers."
"Will a rabbi charge a lot for circumcisions? No. He just keeps the tips."
"I was going to get my certification to be an official Life Coach!... ...but I just never really got around to it."
"How Russians win wars Rushing"
"Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee? Tsarbucks."