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Joke of the Day

"This may be racist but whenever I have a test in class I try to get a seat next to a dolphin because they are usually really smart."

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"Spent most of my early twenties trying to open a pistachio."
"The camping shop in Stratford-upon-Avon is having a sale of last season's stock. Their slogan....? Now.. is the winter of our discount tents."
"Who Loves Debates? De fishes"
"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"
"A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too."
"Doctor... can I bathe with diarrhea? Hmm, yes if you shit enough..."
"What does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"
"How do you kiss a girl on valentines day? You use tulips."
"*lives in a crumbling democracy on a slow terrible decline* hellll yes who just got two green lights in a row"