105220

Joke of the Day

"A boy asks his mother a question Boy: ""Mom, why's my cousin named Jasmine?"" Mom: ""That's because your aunt likes flowers."" Boy: ""Mom, what do you like?"" Mom: ""Oh, be quiet Richard"""

"How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling"

"Why Don't feminists make good botanists? They spend the entire time in the greenhouses bitching about the glass ceiling."

"What is the hardest part of eating vegetables? Their wheelchairs"

"Rethink everything in your life if you're one of the 43,000 people making comments on an instagram photo of Kylie Jenner stretching."

"Waiter there is a mosquito in my soup ! Don't worry sir they don't eat much !"

"What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach? Sandy"

"When people post about their 5 year olds, they're talking about wine right?"

"3 Guys in Colorado died protecting their girlfriends. I don't want to hear any girls saying that ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME."

"What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid? Brushing your teeth"